Wow! I am continually amazing myself with this running thing. I feel I am still new to the sport. Maybe I will feel seasoned when I have gone through all four seasons, when I have no races to train for, but still keep on going. Who knows, and I guess who really cares, all I know is that right here, right now, I feel strong.
I know this is a gift from God. He told me so. During prayer/praise and worship one day I just kept hearing the words in my head "Yes, I have blessed your running, you have my blessing to keep doing it". I believe that is why I can go as far and as long as I do. I believe He is the One who gives me that extra push. I used to take a drug called Cymbalta, it is an antidepressant, but for me it was for anti anxiety. When we moved to our new home almost three years ago, I had just refilled my prescription, then lost the bottle of pills. No where to be found, I searched the old house, the new house, and every box we opened. It would have cost me $350 to fill that out of pocket. So a slow slightly painful process it was to come off that medication I had been on for about 4 years.
I was struggling, and even went back to the doctor to get a smaller dosage. That didn't last long because by this point I was well aware of the process of breaking from the medication, and was reluctant to go through it again. Then I tried an OTC thing I got from Costco. That seemed to make me crabbier. When it is a beautiful sunny day, and all is right with the world I am okay, but that is rarely how it is. When I run, and I finish running, I feel so empowered, especially if it is a new distance. I have always looked at runners as strong people with a goal I could never reach. Why had I told myself that, when I hadn't ever tried it? I had no idea there was a distance runner inside of me. How long has she been there? Would this have worked for me as a teen? How about mid 20's? Early 30's? I have no idea, but I do know that my ability to move across the pavement, or conveyer belt at a reasonable speed is definitely a gift. The beginning of what fueled running was the desire to lose weight, but the fuel for distance was the desire to achieve. Some of what helped me in the beginning (the hardest part) was the trial I was facing. I cannot go into it, but I remember it well. Leaving work being so upset, on the verge of tears, but then hopping on that treadmill, running my sweat out, then getting off, and not having a care in the world. I am not saying running takes the place of medication for everyone, but for me, I feel that is my medication. My gift of serenity. Running really helps with the dark rainy cold days. (today is one of those days, and it's almost July!)
Todays run was pretty good. I always get nervous on long run days. The earlier I can get it done the better as I will work myself up into quite the frenzy. Then once I am there doing it, no more stress, no more nervous, just right there where I know I should be. While we were out on Fathers day week end, I stopped by my favorite running store. Fit Right NW and picked up some energy chews, and jelly beans.
I know this is a gift from God. He told me so. During prayer/praise and worship one day I just kept hearing the words in my head "Yes, I have blessed your running, you have my blessing to keep doing it". I believe that is why I can go as far and as long as I do. I believe He is the One who gives me that extra push. I used to take a drug called Cymbalta, it is an antidepressant, but for me it was for anti anxiety. When we moved to our new home almost three years ago, I had just refilled my prescription, then lost the bottle of pills. No where to be found, I searched the old house, the new house, and every box we opened. It would have cost me $350 to fill that out of pocket. So a slow slightly painful process it was to come off that medication I had been on for about 4 years.
I was struggling, and even went back to the doctor to get a smaller dosage. That didn't last long because by this point I was well aware of the process of breaking from the medication, and was reluctant to go through it again. Then I tried an OTC thing I got from Costco. That seemed to make me crabbier. When it is a beautiful sunny day, and all is right with the world I am okay, but that is rarely how it is. When I run, and I finish running, I feel so empowered, especially if it is a new distance. I have always looked at runners as strong people with a goal I could never reach. Why had I told myself that, when I hadn't ever tried it? I had no idea there was a distance runner inside of me. How long has she been there? Would this have worked for me as a teen? How about mid 20's? Early 30's? I have no idea, but I do know that my ability to move across the pavement, or conveyer belt at a reasonable speed is definitely a gift. The beginning of what fueled running was the desire to lose weight, but the fuel for distance was the desire to achieve. Some of what helped me in the beginning (the hardest part) was the trial I was facing. I cannot go into it, but I remember it well. Leaving work being so upset, on the verge of tears, but then hopping on that treadmill, running my sweat out, then getting off, and not having a care in the world. I am not saying running takes the place of medication for everyone, but for me, I feel that is my medication. My gift of serenity. Running really helps with the dark rainy cold days. (today is one of those days, and it's almost July!)
Todays run was pretty good. I always get nervous on long run days. The earlier I can get it done the better as I will work myself up into quite the frenzy. Then once I am there doing it, no more stress, no more nervous, just right there where I know I should be. While we were out on Fathers day week end, I stopped by my favorite running store. Fit Right NW and picked up some energy chews, and jelly beans.
This is what they look like.
This morning I tried the black cherry Shot Bloks chews, and I am here to tell you, THE CHEWS HAVE IT!!! Thank you to my friend Retha for the suggestion. Those things were so easy to chew, and tasted a whole lot better. I ate one block half way 4.5, then another at about 5.5, I cannot remember if I had a third, I don't think so, but by mile 8 I was able to bump it up to 7.0 mph, so they must have done something. Previously I was taking a Zot candy, which was working great, but they take a long time to dissolve, and sucking on hard candy can be daunting while trying to breath, and drink water.
Trying to lose weight and run is proving to be harder than I though, but you can read about my qualms when I update that page (I want to throw in the towel, but the blog has kind of made me accountable :))
This morning my favorite running pants were in the wash, so I wore my running skirt, and nike breathable short sleeve top, I even got a compliment! This outfit really is cute and makes me feel feminine. NO I don NOT wear my workout clothes as daily wear, not that I would want to after that sweat fest. Sometimes I secretly wish I could though...shhh.
I met a new friend on Daily Mile, she is a runner in my area, and started in Decmeber just like me. She also just did her first half marathon last week end. She likes to zone out to her music while she runs, but is interested in trying to run with a buddy, she also trained with Hal Higdon, just like I am! How crazy that we found each other, AND she is a believer! I am excited to get to know her, and possibly run together.
My friend Retha will be coming down and doing the Portland Marathon in October, and has invited me to join her. I am still not sure about this one, as I am a little chicken of the 26.2, but am strongly considering it, and am holding out on any decision until I see how I feel after this half.
Speaking of this half, it is getting closer and becoming more real. I reserved a room at a hotel near where the shuttle is going to pick us up, and made arrangements for my family to meet me after the race, or at the finish. I am also rolling around ideas in my head that involve OSF for dinner :)
This was fathers day in Petco, I love my family.
The snake I saw on my last outdoor run. Kurt told me it was a rattle snake, I got scared, then he grinned that devious grin...he got me!
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